Just the usual?

Greetings!

I know how upset you all must be; not having heard about my famous escapades for a few days! (I’m seriously considering creating my own gossip magazine with me as the only star discussed… i’ll call it JACK-A-LICIOUS… brilliant.)

Anyway, the reason for my cyber absence is that i have recently acquired a position at a hip, downtown restaurant, “Rock Around The Clock”. It’s fifties-themed and all the waitresses and chefs have to dress up as an icon of this famous decade. The woman who interviewed me, Wendy, said that the other waitress who used to dress up as Marilyn Monroe was the victim of an armed robbery at Rock Around The Clock and has since ceased her employment there to be admitted to a psychiatric facility!

Oh my goodness, can you believe it! The position of Marilyn Monroe is all mine! I’m telling you, I have the best luck ever! (A secret thank you to the 6ft Caucasian male who entered R.A.T.C that fateful night)

This job is just until my six-figure cheques start rollin on in, which they will be doing very soon, thanks to my next big announcement!! ……

because yes thats right ladies and gentlemen…. I GOT AN AUDITION! A rep from Orbit Agency rang me this morning and practically begged me to go for the role of “Female Voice Over” in their latest breakfast cereal ad for “Frosties” (thats only like my favourite cereal!)

I’ll see if i feel like turning up and gracing them with my contagious and vibrant presence on the set tonight =]

and i’ll be sure to let you all know when i get the job… can’t have you all deprived of updates on your favourite celebrity now can i?

xo

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